Monday, September 30, 2013

Today I am tired . . .

I'm always tired.

I'm Sarah. 

Well, no . . . that's not entirely accurate.  I'm not really Sarah.  But I already did the blogging thing under my real name, and it didn't work out all that well. 

Though I kept everything relatively anonymous when it came to names (I only ever mentioned my own), I caved to my innate egotism.  I wanted people to read me.  I wanted people, who knew me in real life, to get to know me in the Bloggiverse . . . to get to know me as what I've always wanted to be -- a writer.  I wanted validation from people to whom I could put faces to names, and vice versa . . . not just from those beautiful, yet etheral folks I'd met in the 'Verse.

So, I leaked posts here and there on FB and Twitter, with accounts linked to my real name. 

Suddenly, I was whisked back in time to junior high school, where people gossip behind your back when they're not actively aiming their slings, arrows, and daggers at that hard-to-reach spot between your shoulder blades. 

My egotism lost me my outlet . . . my crutch . . . my security blanket . . . my sounding board . . . my touchstone . . .

. . . because now, my old blog is ruthlessly scoured on a regular basis by people who have nothing better to do with their existences than cause vexation for others, for nothing more than voyeuristic sport.

So, I'm starting a new blog.  I'm pointedly ignoring my ego and I'm determined to keep my new sanctum as far apart from my real life as possible. 

If you're reading this, please understand that you'll never get a chance to "meet" my kids, face-to-face, though I'll talk about them frequently.  I'm truly sorry that you'll never get to see how gorgeous they are -- and believe me, they are gorgeous.  I made some damn beautiful offspring!  -- but I'm going to do things right this time to protect my temple. 

And my sanity. 

Seriously, dudes . . . I can't go through the drama I went through with my old blog!

Hence . . . I'm Sarah.

And I'm always tired.

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